The results came back from my 4/14 bone marrow biopsy and they're not good. There is leukemia in my marrow. I don't think I had mentally prepared myself for these results, so I'm not doing so hot at the moment. I'm mostly just numb, to be honest. As far as what happens next, it's up in the air. We'll have a better idea tomorrow, but either one of two things will happen:
The date of my transplant will be moved up to this coming week, and I'll be admitted ASAP.
I'll be admitted ASAP and go through another month-long inpatient round of induction chemo, but they'll use a different cocktail of chemotherapies in the hopes of putting me into remission (with the hopes of a transplant in the future).
I won't get into specifics about statistics and success rates because they're misleading and depressing. I'm trying really hard to keep it together at the moment, and we still have the same hope that a transplant is my best bet for putting me into complete remission (hopefully forever). But I'm really scared and shocked and numb and trying to process all of it.
Sorry to bust out bad news in a blog, but it's the easiest/fastest way to tell the largest amount of people, so there you go.
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i love you girl! crap i am getting sappy in a public forum! :) you are allowed with the bad news, you are allowed with the good news...i think you need to take a nap in a peach :) i feel the need to scream some marine/army motto but i don;t know any (i mean, you are gi jane and all) Kcik some leukemia ASS!!! Hoo Ra!!
ReplyDeleteDAMN!!! This sucks!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are right though not to look at statistics because they are just...well, statistics and say nothing about the individual. Even with a 90/10 chance there are still 10 people who get cured and who is to say that you won't be one of them. Plus, in your case the odds are much better, especially with a transplant.
Allow yourself to be frustrated, angry, sad, and pissed off! You have every right to be, but keep in mind that there are still very good options for you!
Much much love
C
Kisses from Nelson, hugs from David!!!
Thinking of you Jess. Stay strong.
ReplyDeletexoxox.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you every day! If you're not feeling strong at the moment, its ok, let everyone around be strong for you until you can be. The biggest hugs.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Jess. Keep fighting. There's a lot of love coming your way from Kansas.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Jess. You are so strong. I know that you will kick the cancer's butt! xoxo
ReplyDeleteJess, I'm sorry to hear this.
ReplyDeleteDo you have other cancer survivors you can talk to about this process?
You will get through this. I know it. Please keep your fighting spirit going!!!
We're all thinking of you Jessica. That is really crappy news, but you are an amazing person as I have learned over the past few weeks and if any one can beat this its you.
ReplyDeleteJess - by the time you read this you will probably know what the next step is. We are pulling out all the stops appealing to the woman/man upstairs. Keep the faith, stay as strong as you have been all along, hang in there.... and wrap yourself in the love that everyone is sending your way. You can do it...you can kick this monster out of your life!
ReplyDeleteAll our love, Aunt Myra and Uncle Don
You know what Jess.....THIS TOTALLY SUCKS....but you also know what....YOU ARE AMAZING and you can do this. I just know in my heart that you are going to be just fine. This leukemia is scared of you because it knows how strong you are. Don't back down...fight the fight and you will WIN. Just know that Danny Wendy and I are sending all the best thougts your way and will continue to do so. In the mean time totally ok to be angry and frustrated. It will help you to kick leukemia ASS!!!! Love you
ReplyDeleteYou've got Fitz's anti-cancer farts on your side, tell him to start pumping them out!! Take Dory's advice, and just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming!
ReplyDeleteJessica,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about the results of your bone marrow biopsy. Please know that we are all thinking about you and sending good, strong thoughts yoru way!
I wanted to make sure you knew about LLS's First Connection program. First Connection provides newly diagnosed patients, caregivers and their families the opportunity to speak with someone who has "been through it" by talking with a trained Peer volunteer by phone.
Patient and volunteers are matched by age, diagnosis and gender when possible.
Any blood cancer patient or caregiver is eligible to receive a call.
There is no charge for this program.
To Speak with a Peer Volunteer:
If you wish to speak to a First Connection peer volunteer, please fill out the online request form below. Someone from the Society will contact you by phone to make a connection.
http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org//all_page.adp?item_id=398848
Let me know if you have any questions.
Thinking of you,
Jillian
Hi Jess. Sorry about this rotten update. Just want you to know I'm sending you lots of love and strength and positive vibes. You are going to get through this process regardless of the road that's taken. You will succeed.
ReplyDeleteLove, Cousin Peggy
Hi Jess, (vicki from Torrance, Ca) We are are still praying for you! My whole 4th grade class infact! Sorry about the news-we will pray harder now!!!!! Vicki
ReplyDeleteYou and Gus have great instincts! You do what you need to do next as you're at the best place, Hopkins. And you stay away from the numbers - they aren't you.
ReplyDeleteYou're disappointed, kinda like you're just returning from a cross-country trip and you're tired and just want to land and go home, but there's traffic and your plane has to go around again; so you're pissed-off at the delay you didn't plan on; but you'll land eventually, pick up your bag, and get on with your real life.
Much love, Cousin John[ny]
Jess, forget about the stats and keep strong. You can do it, I know you can. You're amazing.
ReplyDeletexox
Jess, I am thinking of ya! Keep up the good spirit and things will work out just fine.
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxo, tiff
Hey Jess,
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear about your setback. I was on a short trip to Lago di Garda in Northern Italy with my mom, that's why I didn't write sooner. You will kick leukemia's ass once and for all and then you will get your dream vacation in Italy and if you want, I'll send you some nice pictures of what to look forward to.
There is no doubt in my mind that you will be cancer-free, because I know that you have it in you to beat it, regardless of the odds. Just hang in there a little longer ...
Lots of love and all the support I can send from Munich!
-Surrogate
Have Faith and FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love and good positive thoughts
Cousin Marsha
I think I need to punch something in the face.
ReplyDelete~Julia