I'm home! And I really hope it's for good - I don't ever want to leave again. My time in the hospital is like this weird, distant dream (nightmare), and I'm already settling in and starting to feel like a normal person again. A cue-ball-bald person, but a person nonetheless. Last night Em and Gus and I cooked in our kitchen - I can't tell you how amazing it feels to be cooking food in my own kitchen. Beyond that, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I'm feeling better with every passing day, my counts are still recovering beautifully, my liver function is back to normal - I'm just so relieved/happy/grateful for all of that to the extent that I'm nervous something bad is going to happen to punish me. Yep, I'll take that to the therapist - that is just SCREWED UP!
I think today we're going to go to the mall and the used book store - obviously I still wear my mask in public, especially when there are a lot of people around, which is annoying, but it's nice to be able to go out at all. Otherwise we've just been relaxing, unpacking/organizing and kinda vegging out. Which is really nice.
That's all I've got - I think I'm going to go cuddle Fitzy. :)
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Awesome, we're SO happy for you and Gus (and Emily). Actually, beyond happy. Brought tears to my eyes when reading your current Home Sweet Home blog. Enjoy. Love you TONS, (also Emily, one of your many amazing friends), Bev/Mom
ReplyDeleteSo happy you are home and getting back to normal. Soon the cue ball head and mask will be distant memories too.
ReplyDeleteLove You
Cousin Marsha
Hey Jess,
ReplyDeleteso happy that you're home. And as for mistrusting things when they're going well, that is not an issue for a therapist, that is just normal in any major situation .... on a lesser scale than your, take my job search: I got so frustrated with all the rejections that I became so negative that I didn't think anything would actually go my way. Even when I went to a party I thought it was going to suck and my friends would make fun of me for still being unemployed, which of course they didn't and it was fun. Then I recently got an offer for a postdoc position at the University of Munich (first offer of any kind) and spent 2 days dissecting it even though it was a great situation and almost perfect fit for both sides, because I thought I was missing something. It just seemed too good to be true. But in the end, I hadn't missed anything, I was just so used to bad news that I didn't trust good news. And now am I filling out the employment paperwork and that's that.
Long story short, you're fine and you'll stay fine (and home) ... I fully believe that. :)
Love,
-Surrogate
Jess, I am thrilled to read this news!!! You must be so glad to see your furbabies, and they are without a doubt THRILLED to see their mommy :-)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Tara